American Horror Story looks terrifying this season
the kangaroo freaks me the fuck out
it’s kind of a deer, kind of a rabbit, kind of a man, and it has this big pocket where i can only assume it hides all of its guns
we don’t have guns in australia. we are 100% gun free. in fact i dont even know what a gun is. i thought they were just american myths like halloween, twinkies and obama
What in the hell.
That’s my secret Cap. I’m always SSSSSSSSSSSMOKIN
"Jen, take my picture."
"No, I’m trying to watch the episode."
"But I want to tweet it."
"Misha. Stop. I want to watch the damned episode."
"But I want to tweet it!"
"Jesus Christ. You’re acting like a 12 year old."
"Will you take the picture?"
"What am I getting in return?"
"I’ll tell you after you take the picture. It involves your cock in my mouth."
"Fine, I’ll take the damned picture."
is there a 420 in pi
humanity has made great strides today
Oh look at that, 413
Literally every possible number is in Pi. Somewhere in there is a line of numbers that, when turned into an image, shows you having sex with Nicholas Cage on the moon with Margaret Thatcher looking on and shedding a single sultry tear. Pi is amazing.
Today in biology the teacher asked “why do chromosomes have to stick together?” And I whispered “because they’re bromosomes” and the guy next to me just about died laughing
elementary school was like “hell yeah”. middle school was like “hell no”. and high school. high school is just “hell”
college is just “what the hell”
I hate when you’re like “fuck it’s so hot” and someone’s like “well why don’t you take your jacket off?” Like bitch no…this is my outfit
*goes to a party and awkwardly follows friend around the entire time**goes to a family reunion and awkwardly follows mom around the entire time*
*goes to hell and awkwardly follows satan the entire time*
*goes to earth and awkwardly follows sam the entire time*